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THE DAISY SAGA, EPISODE 2
Daisy Goes for a Swim
One day, Daisy went down to the beach for a swim. She wore her pretty pink, frilly swimsuit. She was all set to go for a swim, just as soon as she put the finishing touches on her sand castle. Then, along came a bikini-clad woman with really big fake boobs, who stomped on Daisy's sand castle, and kicked sand in her face.
Daisy jumped up and punched the woman in the face. She could not use her Magic AK-47 that Never Runs out of Ammo on another human, no matter how much of a bitch she was. The woman fell over with a look of utter surprise on her face. Then, she jumped back up and her face grew angry. Her eyes lit up and turned red. Her teeth became fangs, and horns grew out of her forehead.
Daisy realized that this was no human. This was, in fact, a demon from the depths of Hell itself. So, Daisy pulled out her Magic AK-47 that Never Runs out of Ammo, and blasted the demon right in the stomach.
The demon hit the ground and bellowed in pain. Daisy then pulled out her crucifix and Holy Water. She sprinkled the Holy Water on the demon's face. Its eyes melted and the skin on its face slid off to reveal a burned-looking skull. She sprinkled the Holy Water on the rest of its body and the skin all evaporated.
Then, Daisy took the crucifix and placed it daintily on the demon's head. The demon erupted in flames and then abruptly vanished, leaving behind nothing but a tattered bikini and two breast implants.
Daisy picked up her crucifix, and put it away with her Magic AK-47 that Never Runs out of Ammo. Then, she jumped into the water and had a nice swim.
THE END
Posted Saturday, February 16, 2008 - 4:36PM
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THE DAISY SAGA, EPISODE 1
Daisy Goes Picking Flowers
Once upon a time, there was a blonde girl named Daisy. She was walking through the forest on a bright and pleasant summer day, looking for wildflowers. As she bent down to pick a particularly pretty flower, she heard a rustling in the leaves behind her. She stood up cautiously and turned around.
From out of the dark depths of the forest jumped a slimy lizard beast. Its sharp teeth dripped with thick saliva, and its hot fetid breath was a foul stench that practically singed Daisy's nose hairs.
Daisy eyed her opponent carefully. It was hissing with hunger, ready to pounce on her and devour her whole. With an annoyed voice, she said, "I can't believe there's still any of these things left in the forest!" And at that, she pulled out her Magic AK-47 that Never Runs out of Ammo, and riddled the slimy lizard beast with hundreds of bullets. To be completely thorough, Daisy left a timed charge on the lizard beast's corpse and walked to a safe distance. She watched as the explosion blew the lizard beast into a million bloody pieces.
"Damn," she said as she examined her hands, "I chipped a nail."
THE END
Posted Saturday, January 19, 2008 - 9:48PM
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